Daddy Dearest
by ChildInMeNo.2
Summary: To their utmost horror, Roy's son and Ed's daughter fall in love with each other. Can they break the couple up? Or do they end up making things worse or better, depending on your point of view ? Edwin, Royai, and Edwin's kidxRoyai's kid.
1. An alliance between two dads

**1. An alliance between two dads**

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"Mustang," Ed greeted the other man coolly.

"Elric," Roy gave Ed a brief nod of acknowledgement. He had stopped calling Ed "Fullmetal" shortly after Ed had quit the military. So know it was "Elric."

Occasionally "Edward," but only when he wanted to grab the other's attention.

Cue the awkward silence.

It stretched on for a while between there, either of them not knowing what exactly to say. Make small talk, or get right to the point?

Finally, Ed said, "Okay, Mustang. I know why we're here. You know why we're here. Let me just say, if our wives know where we are…"

"We're screwed. Yes. I know that!" Roy snapped, and then shivered at the thought of Riza getting out her gun and aiming.

Likewise, Ed conjured up an image of Winry and The Wrench. God, how he hated The Wrench! And why did he keep on buying them for her?

"Anyway, Mustang. The reason we're here is because we don't want to be related to each other," Ed continued on. "No, definitely not."

And then they both thought of their children.

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The kids had never gotten along. The kids consisted of Sarah and Eddie Elric, Dan

Elric, and Robby Mustang.

Sarah and Eddie were Ed and Winry's children. Sarah was older than Edward Elric Jr. by a total of four years. She and Eddie never really got along, always picking fights with each other, almost all of them ending up with Eddie pinned to the ground by his stronger, older, smarter sister. Winry always told them to get along. They didn't. And when her back was turned, they'd immediately start squabbling again. Occasionally, Ed himself had to intervene.

Now, Sarah and Eddie were older, sixteen and twelve respectively. They still argued every now and then, but mostly ignored each other. Sibling warfare was a harsh thing, Ed thought. He and Alphonse had their occasional bouts of such, too. And they had been closer than close.

Daniel Elric was, you guessed it, Al's son. Dan was the youngest, still considered the baby of the family at age ten. Dan looked up to Eddie, but Eddie didn't care much for Dan. Sarah, on the other hand, actually liked Dan. She said that she wished she could trade Dan for Eddie. She actually did try that once, but was caught by Winry.

And then there was Robert Mustang, eighteen years of age now. He'd been called Robby when he was little, but now detested that nickname. Nowadays, most people called him Robert or Rob. He looked like a miniature Roy when he was little, but started looking more like Riza as he grew older.

Now, Rob and Sarah easily had the worst relationship out of all the other kids. They fought at every turn over every single thing they could think of. (And it didn't help that Ed and Roy secretly urged their kids to beat the other one at everything possible, too.) Rob was always flaunting his older age of two years and therefore more experience at Sarah. Which made Sarah snap. Which caused them to fight. Over and over again.

It reminded Ed and Roy of old times, repeated with their kids. Occasionally, it hadn't been limited to just words. Sometimes punches and kicks were included, yelling and screaming. And on two occasions, a little alchemy. That was serious, and Ed and Roy had given a stern lecture to those two kids after those incidents.

It'd been a fact of life, up there with all the basics. The sun comes up every morning. Equivalent exchange. Rob and Sarah don't get along.

Or that's how it used to be…

When Sarah was fourteen and Rob sixteen, Rob had gone off to this military training camp thing far north, near Briggs. The last time they saw each other, Sarah had shouted, "Good riddance, Robby, you bastard! Don't come back any time soon!" And Rob had yelled back, "I won't miss you either! And when I come back, I'll kick your ass! You'll see!"

Ed had been secretly delighted with the exchange. So had Roy. Their children were growing up exactly as they'd been raised.

Two years had passed since then. And Rob finally came back to Central to live with his parents again. And when the Elrics happened to be in Central one day, Ed decided to pay a visit to his old friend/enemy/ally/archrival, Roy Mustang. So, of course, Rob was there.

Sarah had met Rob. Rob had met Sarah. And…

God! Why did this have to happen?

They fell for each other!

It didn't make sense, Ed thought. The chemistry was wrong. Ed always thought that Rob was a younger version of Mustang, and that Sarah was younger, female version of himself. They would never got along. Perhaps they'd be friends. But not for a long, long time. He always, always, always assumed so!

The thought of Sarah and Rob, Rob and Sarah had never even occurred to Ed or Roy. Nothing even close to it! They both assumed that when Sarah and Rob saw each other again after the two year separation, things would pick up where they left off, which mostly meant trading insults, and then trading punches in private, when they thought their parents weren't looking.

Instead, Sarah had looked at Rob. Rob had stared, practically ogled, at Sarah. Sarah had been wearing a tank top and shorts, because it had been a frighteningly hot summer day. And even then, the thin tank top had stuck to her body because of all the sweat, and her hair was put up in a ponytail.

And then Rob said, "You've gotten hot."

Roy's mouth fell open? What? This was what his son had to say to Sarah Elric? You've gotten hot? That wasn't even the least bit subtle!

Ed expected Sarah to laugh and then call him a string of names, or at least give him a great, big slap and yell. But instead, she looked down and blushed (which she never did!) and said, "Gee, thanks."

Roy blinked. Ed blinked. Could this be really happening? Maybe this was a dream. Yes, a dream. That would explain it. Ed pinched himself. It hurt, and he didn't wake up.

"Um, so…" Rob tried to get some words out of his mouth. "Uh…how's…um…Eddie? Yeah, Eddie. How is he?"

"Uh, fine," Sarah said, but it was obvious that her pest of a little brother was the last thing that was on her mind. The expression on her face seemed very odd. Ed had never seen Sarah liked this before, and frankly, it was worrying him.

Both teenagers became suddenly aware of the prying eyes of their dads. Rob cleared his throat loudly and Sarah tapped her foot, sending along hinting glances towards Ed. Ed and Roy stayed.

"Hey, let's go to that ice cream place we went to when we were kids," Rob suggested, looking away from his father on purpose.

"Sure," Sarah replied, also not meeting Ed's eyes.

And then they had left. Slammed the door, too. Leaving behind their wide-eyed, slack-jawed fathers. It had happened so fast, so quickly, that the two famous alchemists who'd survived too many things to name had been left utterly speechless, with no time for reaction.

And from then on, things went downhill.

Sarah Elric and Robert Mustang. An official couple! Who would've guessed? They could be seen in public frequently, both in Resembool and at Central. Holding hands, blushing, laughing, talking. And Ed had once seen Sarah spooning chocolate ice cream into Rob's mouth! Sarah! And Rob letting her!

The horror of it! The complete horror!

Roy and Ed had comforted themselves by saying to each other that it was temporary. Just another teenage fling. Nothing important. Roy himself had gotten into many "flings" before marriage, he told Ed. Nothing to worry about. Ed had believed him, and Roy had believed himself.

Except that it had lasted for almost three months now. And both Sarah and Rob seemed to have gotten closer instead of further apart. And now, Roy and Ed decided to do something about it.

It was their mission, and theirs alone. Winry and Riza woldn't do anything about it. They thought it was "sweet" that the kids had "found true love." Excuse me for a minute. I need to barf. (And whenever Ed said that, Winry would yell at him.) They actually encouraged the relationship! And they both told their husbands not to interfere.

So Roy and Ed had to take matters into their own hands.

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"Welcome home, Dad!" Sarah crowed, and danced over to her father. She planted a kiss on Ed's cheek. "How was your trip? Did you do whatever you needed to do? Did you see Mr. Mustang? How is he? Did you see Rob? How was he? Do you know he'd coming over tomorrow?"

"Hi, Sarah," Ed sighed, ignoring the barrage of questions.

Sarah went back to the kitchen, where'd she'd been happily washing dishes and humming a cheerful tune. She was even wearing an apron. Winry's apron.

Sarah looked more like Winry, in Ed's opinion. Pale blond hair, round face, a happy smile (when she smiled). She had Ed's golden eyes, though. So did Eddie. So did Dan. The golden eyes, Ed had decided, were a dominant trait. Besides, Winry's blue eyes were almost certainly a recessive gene.

"So, Sare-Bear, what's on the agenda today?" Ed asked. "Where's Winry? Where's your brother?"

"Don't call me that!" Sarah rolled up her eyes. "Honestly, I'm not five anymore!"

_I know you're not,_ Ed thought. _I wish you were, though. You were really easy to control when you were five. You believed everything I told you. You thought that a monster lived under your bed and that a stork delivered your brother to us. You fought with Rob all the time instead of fawning over him like you do know. Damn puberty! Damn growing up!_

Out loud, Ed said, "Old habit. Hey, you cut your hair today."

And sure enough, Sarah's usual waist-length sunshine ponytail had been cut to shoulder-length with a blue ribbon somewhere in it to keep part of it from falling into her face.

"Yeah, I know!" Sarah's face lighted up into one of her ear to ear grins. "It was Rob's idea. He wondered how I'd look with shorter hair, and then there was a barbershop right down the street, so we both got haircuts!"

Ed hated it when he talked about Rob. Ugh. Her eyes got all soft, and her voice got a little sloshy. It was as if she was in love. Not some silly crush that she'd discard in a week, but as if she had found her one true love. It was like one of those chick flicks that (for some reason) Dan and Eddie loved so much. (That was a little disturbing. He needed to talk to his nephew and son about being more manly later on. But now, onto the present problem, his daughter.)

No, she wasn't. Sixteen-year-olds couldn't fall in love. Right?

Ed tried to conveniently forget the fact that he fell in love with Winry when he was all but fifteen, even younger than Sarah. Somehow, he couldn't.

Sarah went on wiping away the dishes. Just a few months ago, she would've snuck away and forced either Eddie or Dan to do it, or just argue about with her parents and then storm off. But now, she was more into domestic activities. Quiet unbelievable if you knew the old Sarah. That was the only thing Ed liked about Sarah dating Rob. More labor, more help around the house.

God knows, he didn't raise his kids well enough. They were disobedient, they fought all the time, and they didn't respect him! Dan did, but Dan wasn't his son. Stupid Al. How _did_ he get Dan to have such a quiet nature?

He'd trade all of Sarah's labor if it meant not seeing Rob's face so much.

"So, where are Winry and Eddie?" Ed asked as he took a seat in the kitchen table, staring glumly at a probably forbidden yet totally delicious-looking strawberry shortcake. Winry probably just baked it and left it there to torture him.

"Oh, Mom went out to buy something. I don't know what," Sarah shrugged. "As for Eddie, he could be anywhere, playing with his little friends. By the way, Uncle Al was over here the other day and you won't believe what he said! He said…"

Sarah went on talking to her father, unaware that he wasn't paying attention. Ed was busy mustering up courage and wondering when was the best time to ask. Finally, he sucked in a breath and started talking before he lost his resolve.

"So…uh…Sare-Bear. I was talking to Roy, and he mentioned something," Ed started to say. Sarah raised up one of her eyebrows, a curious quirk of hers. "Um, he said something about a party thing at Central soon. And I thought, uh, it'd be a good time to go. But, um, you need a date. I mean, you don't _need _one, but you should have one because everyone else is going to."

Sarah reacted better than he thought he would.

"Excellent! I could go with Rob!" she squealed and clapped her hands and jumped up and down like a small child, blond hair flying in the air. All of a sudden, she seemed like his five-year-old Sare-Bear again.

"Oh, about that. Why don't you go with someone else?" Ed asked in what he wanted to be a casual voice, but wasn't. It sounded like he was under an enormous amount of strain.

Sarah's face instantly fell. "Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy! Daaaaaady!"

Damn, he hated it when Sarah turned into a whiny teenage brat. She was absolutely impossible to handle. The only people who could talk her through these stages was Winry (and now it seemed) Rob Mustang.

"You know, for a change of pace," Ed fished around his head for a reason. "Yeah, you know. A change."

What a lame excuse! Even Ed thought so. Sarah, though, was preoccupied with the fact that she was going to have a party and that her father was implying that she couldn't go with Rob. She instantly puffed up and opened her mouth to fire a remark at him.

"Well then, even if I went without Rob, who'd I go with? Huh? Huh?" Sarah pouted.

"Uh, I dunno. There are lots of nice guys in Resembool. And at Central. And any other damn place in the world. Oops, don't tell Winry I said 'damn," you know she hates that. So anyways, um, you can go with, uh, Eddie or something."

Poor Ed.

"Dad, he's my brother. And he's twelve years old!" Sarah hissed, eyes narrowing. She was starting to understand what her dad was planning.

"Yeah, so?" Ed asked.

Poor, clueless Ed.

"Weren't you paying attention? He's my brother. My annoying little brother? Why the hell should I go with him!" Sarah screamed, losing her temper. She flung the wet dishrag at Ed. "It's called freaking incest! If we had kids, it would have eleven toes and two heads!"

"Whoa, I didn't mean it that way!" Ed said, voice a little muffled because of the dishrag.

She acted too much like a younger version of him.

Ed took a deep breath and slowly peeled the dirty dishrag off his face. He looked at his fuming daughter. Such a bad temper! He gritted his teeth and took another huge breath. _Do not kill your firstborn child, do not kill your firstborn child, do not kill your firstborn child_, he chanted to himself over and over again.

"Then, I don't know, go with Dan," Ed continued on, not knowing what he had said that was wrong.

"THAT'S EVEN WORSE! HE'S ELEVEN! MY ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD COUSIN!" she continued raging. "SOMETIMES, YOU ARE JUST UNBELIEVABLE!"

And with that, Sarah stomped off. She stopped by only to take off the apron and throw it on the floor, and to take the ribbon out of the hair and throw it on the table. She gave one last glare, and then turned around and hurried off to her room.

Mission Convince Sarah To Go To The Party With Another Guy So She Can Forget About Rob And Think About Other Guys.

Failed most miserably!

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While Ed was in Resembool with Sarah, Roy was in Central with Rob.

Rob was in his room, reading a book. It wasn't an alchemy book or a military book or an educational book. Nah, it was this sappy romance novel that Sarah said that he had to read. He'd skimmed through five chapters so far, but nothing good. Just something about a raven-haired beauty cheating on this blond guy who liked a brunette girl who liked the redhead that the raven-haired beauty was cheating with. Ahhh! How did girls read this kind of stuff?

Suddenly, the door opened. Rob hastily shoved the book under the desk, holding it with his knee so it wouldn't fall.

Oh. It was Dad. He half-expected it to be his mom, Riza, coming in to drag him outside for another target practice. Relief flooded through him. But then he realized that if his father found the object under the desk, it would cause him a great deal of torment.

"Hello, Father," Rob smiled mechanically and nodded. Inside he was thinking, _Please don't find out I've been reading a sappy romance novel! I didn't even want to read it! Sarah said it was a good book!_

"Hello, Robert. How've you been?" Roy smiled in a friendly way. Or he tried to. He extended his mouth to his cheeks, and he looked more like a freaky jack-o-lantern, so it gave him more a scary appearance.

"Uh, great," Rob replied, staring at his father. _Maybe he's constipated or something…_

"So, nice day. Nice weather." Roy gestured outside. Damn, he really needed to practice his small talk. First Elric, now his own kid. Bummer.

"Yeah. Nice weather. Nice day. Yeah. Nice yeah. I mean, uh, nice weather!"

"Are you all right, son?"

"Yeah, yeah. I am. So, what's up?"

Roy looked exceedingly uncomfortable. He sighed dramatically for effect. Too dramatically. Rob saw right through the act and wondered what was causing his father to pretend to be suffering.

"Robert, you probably heard about the annual Winter Ball coming up?" Roy sat down on his son's bed.

"Yeah?" Rob wanted to yawn, just thinking about the boring Winter Ball. Giggly girls in poofy dresses, stiff adults with stiff conversations. The only good thing was the food, and you could only stay at the food table for a limited period of time before people thought you were a glutton.

"This year, there's this really nice girl. Her name is Karen Armstrong. And she needs a date for the Winter Ball. So, I've arranged for you to be her…escort."

This pulled a reaction out of Rob.

"No way, Dad!" he howled. "I'm going out with Sarah! Don't you remember? Sarah, Sarah Elric!"

Unfortunately for Rob, he jerked his legs a little too violently and the romance book toppled off of his kneecap. It bounced once and landed on the floor with a small thud.

Roy, who didn't miss anything, didn't miss this.

"Robert, what is that?" he asked, eyes zooming on to the book.

"Its…a book," Rob said reluctantly.

"Robert, please read the title for me." Roy's voice sounded distant and far-away.

"What?"

"Read the title!" Roy snapped.

"Okay, all right. It's, uh. Well, it says _(mumble)_."

"Please say that louder."

"_(Mumble)_."

"Louder."

Rob exploded suddenly, startling Roy so much that he jumped. "A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE AT MAKELOVE BEACH! ARE YOU HAPPY? YOU WANT ME TO SAY IT AGAIN? A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE AT MAKELOVE BEACH!"

Rob was breathing hard, practically panting. Roy stared at Rob, a little disturbed, and also a little worried about his son's sexuality. A forbidden romance on Makelove Beach? Hmmmm. On second thought, he could use that line on Riza sometime in the near future.

"So. Karen Armstrong. Winter Ball. Right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Just…just go. Go," Rob said. He was mortified. He had made a complete fool out of himself. Anything to make his dad go away. "Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Please. Go."

So Roy left.

Mission Convince Roy To Go To The Winter Ball With Another Girl And Try To Make Him Fall In Love With That Other Girl.

Kind of successful.

But to tell you the truth, Roy was too busy practicing lines he would say to Riza later that night at that moment.

"Our love is a forbidden romance on Makelove Beach, baby," he mumbled to himself. "Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that sounds good."

Idiot!


	2. On Wednesday

**2. On Wednesday**

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On Wednesday, three days away from the Winter Ball, several things happened. I'll tell them in order of how they happened.

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First of all, Rob decided to pay a visit to his girlfriend. And talk to her about something.

Visiting Sarah was excruciating, Rob thought. He had to take a train, wait for six to eight hours on it. Just to see his girlfriend. He couldn't even stay that long. Mr. Elric wouldn't let him. So Rob liked it better when Sarah came to visit him. She could stay for as long as they wanted, and there were better things to do in Central than in a small hick town like Resembool, despite the fact that Sarah seemed oddly fond of it.

This time, the rain ride took seven hours and eleven minutes total. He checked his watch. And this time, he had an entire compartment to himself. Lucky him. It was a little boring, though, having nobody to chat with. And it seemed to take forever to finally arrive in Resembool.

When he entered the house, he found Eddie and Dan Elric on the floor, attempting to solve a complicated puzzle, the kind with hundreds of little pieces that looked exactly the same. They were trying to complete a scene of a peaceful meadow with lots of colorful flowers and a brook flowing through it. Eddie was completely engrossed in it, fascinated by the challenge it presented. Dan, on the other hand, did it half-heartedly. However, it should be noted that Dan was doing it better than Eddie, who impatiently shoved together pieces that didn't fit.

"Heya, Rob. Why're you here now?" Eddie asked, trying to force one piece to fit into another. "You're here a lot, you know. You should just live here. Come to visit Sarah again, huh?"

"Oh, I just happened to be around," Rob lied easily. Both boys had never visited Central before, and were unaware of the long distance. "I'm just here to visit Sarah. Good luck with that puzzle. It looks really hard, doesn't it? I used to do something like that when I was your age."

"Uh-huh. Yeah. Sure."

The twelve-year-old Eddie wasn't too perceptive and was currently too busy jamming a puzzle piece into another to pay close attention, bending it a little to make it fit. His eyes were trained on the puzzle and never came off, except for that one moment to glance up and see who entered the house. Dan, on the other hand, was much more sensitive to the atmosphere than Eddie, despite being a year younger. He noticed that something was off about Rob, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. But he shrugged it off. It probably wasn't his business anyway. So Dan went on fitting pieces of the puzzle very neatly into the way it was supposed to be, a contrast to his cousin.

"Um, is your dad home?" Rob asked Eddie nervously, eyes glancing every which way in search of Edward Elric.

To be honest, Rob was a little scared of Ed. He was comfortable with the rest of the Elrics, Dan and Eddie and Al and Winry and Mei. It was just that something about Ed was slightly scary to him. Maybe it was the "don't touch my daughter" vibes that floated across the room and slapped Rob right in the face. Or maybe it was the rivalry between Ed and his own father. Or maybe something else. He wasn't too sure about it, but he had this vague feeling that Ed would like to see him in a ditch somewhere, dead.

When Rob had told Sarah about this, she laughed. Which made him feel a little silly. Sarah said that her dad was a very gentle person. (Yeah, right.) He wouldn't even think about hurting Rob for such a trivial reason, she claimed. (Uh-huh.) But one thing could not be denied. Ed didn't like Rob. For an unknown reason, too. (Maybe not so unknown, Rob.)

"What? Oh, um, he had to go somewhere," Eddie mumbled, not even bothering to look at the half-worried look on Rob's face. Dan did, though.

"Where?" Rob persisted.

"I don't know. I didn't ask. Hey, do you think this looks okay?" he held up a section of puzzle he had put together. Some of it was obviously forced together. Dan rolled his eyes up in exasperation. His stupid, impatient cousin! God, Eddie needed to learn how to grow up soon!

"Yeah, yeah, sure. It looks fine. Look, you sure about your dad?"

"Positive. He told Mom not to expect him for dinner, and maybe not till late at night. And he wasn't here for lunch, too. It was good, too. I had three helpings. Oh, sorry about that. So anyways, I guess he went somewhere kind of far away to do something," Eddie replied.

"He took a train," Dan piped up helpfully. "Like you did."

Rob nodded, trusting the word of both boys. Good. Because he wanted to talk to Sarah privately, with nobody listening around. Mrs. Elric was nice about it, but Mr. Elric liked eavesdropping. (And whenever Sarah found out, she'd rage and scream and slam doors. Not very charming. It took a while for Rob to calm her down. Sarah liked her privacy.)

"You visit Sarah too much," Eddie said again, looking at the part of the puzzle that he completed, or rather the part that he tried to complete but failed miserably in. "Did you sleep with her yet?"

_Excuse me?_

"Excuse me?" Rob gasped.

Whoa. Eddie was twelve. Did twelve-year-olds know about the birds and the bees yet? (They did. Rob did when he was twelve, to some extent. He forgot about that at the moment.) And when did Eddie have the audacity to ask about that? And about his own sister at that?

"I said, did you sleep with her yet," Eddie repeated in the same conversational, slightly bored tone. The kind you used when you were talking about the weather with some weird person you met with at the bus stop.

"No!" Rob spluttered. "No! Your sister is still a…a…a virgin!"

"How do _you_ know?" Eddie asked condescendingly. "It's not like you were her boyfriend forever. In fact, I think you got her on the rebound. A few weeks before you met her again, she had this boyfriend. His name was Hal, and I didn't like him much, but Dad and Mom did."

"I…she…virgin!" Rob tried to get the words out of his mouth.

Dan stared curiously at Eddie and Rob, abandoning the puzzle for a moment. In a painfully innocent voice, he asked, "What's so bad about sleeping with someone? I used to sleep with Sarah when I was little. I'd go into her bed at night whenever I wanted to. And what does that have to do with being a virgin?"

Rob stared at the naïve Dan, with his mouth wide open. No way was he going to tell the eleven-year-old kid about the birds and bees, and the nests and the trees, followed by a bunch of baby birds and little bees. (That's what Roy had called it, so Rob was used to thinking it that way.)

"Forget it!" Rob finally said. "I'm leaving!"

"Yeah. See ya later. Virgin," Eddie chuckled. Rob almost said something. He didn't.

Rob threw his jacket on the floor and started heading upstairs, nimbly jumping over the huge, unfinished puzzle. Eddie was still too transfixed on his precious puzzle, but Dan looked up to see Rob stomp up the stairs, yell, "Hi, Mrs. Elric!" and disappear into Sarah's room (or so Dan presumed).

Click.

Sarah's small, blond head shot up to see who had opened her door. He face lit up instantly into one of her happy, ear to ear smiles that melted a cold heart. She threw the book she was reading on the floor as if it didn't matter, even thought it was her favorite. (If you're wondering, the title is A Forbidden Romance on Makelove Beach.)

"Robert!" she squealed joyfully. "I didn't expect you to come today! You should've sent a message or something! This is a great surprise!"

She bounced off of her bed and went forward to engulf Rob in a huge hug. Rob smiled. Really, it was these little moments that made him love her even more. Sarah could be rash, impulsive, loud, and bold. But really, inside she was just a bubbly sixteen-year-old girl without a care in the world.

Sarah, with her formerly long blond hair, now trimmed down to her shoulders. Sarah, with her round, earnest, childlike face that hid nothing from him. Sarah, with her fierce golden eyes. Sarah, her body that was curvy for a sixteen-year-old's. Ah, Sarah.

Rob immersed himself in fantasizing about Sarah's body. (Something which Edward would've beaten him to death for with a happy smile on his face, and then locked him up in a room and starved him. Which was quite impossible, seeing as you can't starve if you're already dead. But anyway, on with the story.) But it was more than Sarah's body, he supposed. I mean, there were tons of pretty girls out there, even prettier ones than Sarah. But he picked her, and she picked him. For what reason, though? He wondered…

"So Sare," he said, using the affectionate nickname he had made up for her, unaware that Ed used something similar. "Did you hear about the, um, Winter Ball coming up in Central?"

"Yeah," Sarah's voice was slightly muffled. Her face was still buried in Rob's shirt. "Dad tried to convince me to go with another boy, can you believe it? As if I'd go without anyone but you!"

Rob started to feel a little uncomfortable.

"I mean, Dad tried pressuring me to go with someone, anyone else. But don't worry, I know that our love is so strong that we won't cheat on each other," Sarah happily went on.

Rob started to feel a lot uncomfortable.

"Oh! I get it! You're gonna ask me out! Yay! I love you, Robby!" Sarah jumped and clapped her hands like a little kid again, pale blond hair swinging on her shoulders.

Okay. Now, Rob had gone to a point of uncomfortable where it couldn't be called uncomfortable anymore. Maybe ultra-uncomfortableness.

"Actually, Sare, um, about that," Rob started to say.

Sarah smiled her bright smile again, unaware of what Rob had to say.

"I'm going with someone else. A girl named Karen Armstrong."

That one, no, two, sentences were followed by screaming, shouting, kicking, Rob being hit by The Wrench, and a certain someone getting thrown out of the window. The casualties were a simple wooden chair, half of The Wrench, and the sprained dignity of a teenage boy.

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While Rob was getting thrown out of the window, his father was busy conversing with Ed in Central. Well, maybe not conversing. It was more like Roy ranting and blaming at Ed, and Ed ranting and blaming Roy. And on and on, in a cycle. They repeated themselves, they yelled, they called each other names. So all in all, it wasn't very different from their other meetings.

"What the hell do you mean it's my freaking fault?" Ed snapped at the man, balling up his fists in case he needed to give a quick punch.

"I'm saying it's your freaking fault because it is your freaking fault, Elric!" Roy snapped right back. "You are an incompetent parent! I managed to convince my child to go with someone else, but you did not! From what you've told me, your daughter completely disrespects you!"

"You shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

"You shut up first!"

"Only after you shut up!"

"I'll never shut up!"

"Then I'll never shut up!"

"Just shut up!"

"No, I won't!"

"SHUT UP!" Riza's loud voice penetrated the walls of the room. "GOD, SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO READ A GOOD ROMANCE BOOK, YOU KNOW!"

Total silence.

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And somewhere else, there was an Asian girl who lay on the ground. She'd fainted, or so it seemed.

"Hey, you all right?"

"Hmmm? Whaaaaat?"

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Food. Need food."

"I'll get you some food, kid. What's your name? Where you from?"

"Suhyeon. I'm from Xing."

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And somewhere else, a redhead teenage girl was yelling at her parents.

"No, way! Mom! Dad! Don't make me! I don't want to go with stupid Robby! I don't like him! No, I HATE him!" Karen Armstrong yelled, stomping her feet on the ground.

"Bad Karen!" her father said. "Bad, bad girl!"

"Oh, what am I? A dog? Bad girl, Karen? That all you can come up with, huh, huh?" Karen taunted him.

"Enough, Karen," her mother said. "You will go. It will benefit us if you become close to the Fuhrer's son."

"You sound like I'm gonna marry him or something! God!"

Stomp, stomp, stomp. Slam door.

**Chapter two over.**

**Any of you who read the manga can find out who Suhyeon's parents are, judging by the way she acts and where she's from.**

**And I guess that's all. For now.**


	3. A Little Advice

**3. A Little Advice**

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Rob was stressed. Very stressed.

Rob knew that some younger teenagers broke out into pimples when they were very stressed, like he was now. Fortunately, he had inherited his father's smooth, pale skin without a single hint of a blemish. But if he could break out, his entire face would've been covered with acne right now.

He ran his fingers through his black hair. Besides the whole Sarah getting all mad and going psycho on him thing, his father was annoying him. Very much, always prattling about this Karen Armstrong. Which he was doing right now.

"Miss Karen Armstrong is blah blah blah blah," Roy said. "So you should blah blah blah."

Rob tuned out, hoping that Dad would finish with this long-winded lecture soon. Weren't fathers supposed to be supportive, dispensing information on how to deal with girlfriends and girls as friends, and just females in general? Women were a strange lot, Rob thought. They got angry and happy easily, they had total power over men although males were usually physically stronger. Women were hell and heaven at the same time, good and bad. Just look at his parents' relationship. No doubt that Dad could kill Mom in a fight, being the Flame Alchemist and Fuhrer and all, but it was apparent that Mom was the one who ruled the family behind the scenes.

Rob decided to ask about that.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Robert?" Roy stopped in the middle of his lecture, a little annoyed. He was getting into the virtues of Karen now, how obedient and kind and all around perfect she was. Even though he met the girl only on two separate occasions, and both of the times they hadn't said more than five words to each other. Seriously.

"Uh, it's about girls," Rob started to say a little reluctantly.

Roy's eyes lit up instantly, like a child getting a puppy for Christmas or something like that. He placed his gloved hands on Rob's shoulders. Rob became a little alarmed. Whenever Dad got happy for little or no reason like this, it meant trouble. Always. Like that one time on his seventh birthday, he promised that it would the best birthday ever! It had ended with all the guests soaking wet, Riza angry and covered in cake, Black Hayate turning out to be a girl and producing about five puppies, and a very tearful Rob. Rob considered it the second worst birthday in his entire life.

Don't ask what the first worst one was. Seriously. Don't. Let's just say that Rob would never, ever, EVER forget the day when turned ten years old/

Ever.

Bad memory. Bad memory. Think happy thoughts.

"Son, I have waited this day since you were born," Roy stated in a solemn tone. "I imagined many things on the day you were born. Your first word. Your first day of school. First lost tooth. First growth spurt. Graduation. Marriage. Leaving home. And by the way, when you do leave with Karen Armstrong, why don't you take the Armstrong summer estate? It's by the seashore and-"

"Dad, I'm not marrying Ka-"

"Sorry, Robert. Back to the subject at hand. So, the day you were born, I dreamt of giving you The Talk. The birds and the bees."

Rob's eyes widened in horror. This couldn't be happening. No, it couldn't. This was beyond the utmost terror. Beyond anything he ever had to face, and that included waking up at five in the morning and running two miles in winter. Shirtless.

"Dad, Mom already gave me The Talk. Years ago," Rob managed to say. His father had been acting oddly lately. More oddly than lately. He didn't know the reason. (Which was that Roy was excited about the upcoming Winter Ball. That and the fact that Sarah and Rob's relationship seemed very rocky of late.)

Roy's mouth dropped open. "No!"

"Actually, Dad, yes."

It hadn't been so bad, he thought. He had been a partially naïve thirteen-year-old who still wasn't sure about the mysteries about sex, so he had asked Mom. She'd given him The Talk, smoothing over the grosser parts, and then lent him a book to borrow, and then left him to figure out all the finer details on his own. He'd been grateful to his mother for that, for being casual and subtle about everything. His Dad, on the other hand, would've gotten into all the descriptive details, possibly recalling stories from when he was young.

Rob liked Mom better than Dad, he decided. Mom was patient and sensible, not rash like Dad. She was also a better diplomat in his opinion.

"But she's a woman! She's one of them! How could she give you, practically a full-grown man, The Talk? It's always the father's duty to give The Talk to his son! Damn you, Riza! Why do you always insist on taking away everything precious away from meeeeee!"

Okay, now Dad was overreacting. Rob shook his shoulders free of Roy's hands. He hated it whenever Dad decided to overdramatize things, as per usual. He had a distinct feeling that Dad actually liked doing that.

"Besides, this isn't about The Talk. It's about girls in general. Women. Females. Whatever you want to call them. They're really confusing. I mean, Sarah beat me up into a pulp just yesterday and then threw me out the window, and when Mr. Elric came back, he stepped on my face on purpose and said, 'See ya, sucker!' So I guess it's about Mr. Elric, too."

"What? That bastard! He stepped on your face!" Roy thought up of things to say to Ed the next time they met him. They'd never agreed on face-stepping! Grrrr, he'd get it next time!

"Girls, Dad, girls. We're talking about girls. And in-laws. I mean, not in-laws, but the parents of your girlfriend. Or your maybe ex-girlfriend who's mad at you. Anyways, girls."

"Yes, yes. Girls. Women are fickle, Robert. They are not the same as you or me. Technically, they're humans. But I do have my doubts. They're a whole different species from us, with a whole different way of living and thinking," Roy started to explain. "I lived with your mother for years and years. And I've known her for even longer, when both of us were just dumb kids. Ah, those good old days. Back when your mother was still a weakling and could get beat up by me. Ahhh."

Rob thought of this. It made sense. Total sense. It explained a lot of things about girls. Why did they like huddling up in groups and giggling so much? He knew a few smart, sensible ones here and there in the military, and Sarah happened to be one of them.

He thought of Sarah again. Sarah, blond hair and gold eyes and wide, earnest smile. Sarah Elric, his one true love. He thought wistfully of her. He noticed the longer he stayed away from her, the more he missed her. He wanted to see her. Now.

He tuned back into what Roy was saying.

"Women play mind games on men and on each other. They're crafty, they're clever, they're very subtle. Oh, they're not direct and honest like us. They're all little liars, little liars. Not liars. They just leave things out and twist everything else to make it sound like the complete opposite of what it really is. Oh, once you enter the world of women, Robert, things will change forever."

"How? Sarah changed my life, but in a good way," Rob replied, thinking about that one day they had the picnic in Resembool, the day he said that he loved her. And she had stared back, even blushed a little, and said, "Me, too."

"Trust me. They do change your life in a bad way," Roy nodded his head in a superior way, the older generation passing information to the younger one. "I mean, at first it seems all right, but later on, it gets pretty bad. The women, they give orders like a Brigadier General gives an order to a simple Private," Roy explained things in military terms. (Rob rolled his eyes.) "It's always do this or do that or why can't you be this way or why are you this way? Trust me, Rob. It gets to be pure hell."

Rob brooded on this a little, ignoring all military metaphors, something he got tired of years ago. Putting aside the military metaphor in this particular conversation, though, it all made sense. All women, even ones like Sarah, had this underlying strength, something that could overpower all males in a second.

Roy got more into detail, proving Rob's suspicions.

"It's a fact that men are physically stronger than women. (Of course, I would have to make exceptions to this rule. Your mother, for instance. Few men have beaten her in an arm-wrestling contest. But moving on.) And despite the fact that we are superior in strength, women have the upper hand in many things. There's just something about it. Maybe it's a secret handed down from mother to daughter from generation to generation, as secret as top classified military information."

Another military metaphor. Another roll of eyes from Rob.

But besides another military metaphor, Rob understood what his dad was trying to get at. Kind of. Women were strange, mystical beings. Like unicorns, except they weren't always friendly, and they were a lot more easier to find. And treading with all women was going to be hard, even Sarah. He needed to find out more on how to get along with girls. But Dad probably wasn't the best source of it. He planned to ask someone else later. Not Mom. Definitely not Mom.

"What about in-laws?" Rob asked, remembering how Mr. Elric had stomped on his face earlier, practically breaking his nose! Mr. Elric scared him. A lot. Why couldn't he be more like his brother, Al? Al was nice. Al was great. He let Rob call him "Al" instead of sticking with the stiffer, more formal, "Mr. Elric." So why did Sarah's dad have to be the mean brother?

"Hmmm? To tell you the truth, I didn't have any trouble with in-laws. Riza's mom died a long time ago, and I never met her. Riza's dad was not quite right in the head. He was actually batshit insane."

Rob stared at his father. "But you said that Grandpa Hawkeye was a great alchemist, the one who passed down flame alchemy and everything else you know down to you. You said that he was a great man, and that you were sorry he wasn't around to see his daughter and grandson. You said that he was a great man, and that I should be proud to be his grandson."

Roy glared, remembering that his son had a nearly perfect memory, "That was when you were eight. How can you remember something from back then? And I said that to his grave. When you go to the graves of people you know, you have to do or say something dramatic or sentimental. It's like a newly-signed law, something that a lot of people forget, but still a law."

"So what did you about Grandpa Hawkeye?" Rob asked eagerly, hoping to find out and do to Mr. Elric whatever Dad did to Grandpa Hawkeye.

"Oh. He died. Before I married Riza. Before I fell in love with her, even," Roy shrugged. "A bit unfortunate for Riza and me in a few ways, but also convenient. You see, without Master Hawkeye around, there wasn't anyone to protest against us, and he died just when I joined the military, so he couldn't really get on my case about it. Stupid, demented old man. He was a freak, Robert, a real freak. You were actually lucky not to know him. Thank God that your mother took after her mother, and not her crazy old man."

Rob didn't think that this solution would work. As much as he disliked Mr. Elric, he certainly didn't want him to die. Sarah would be devastated. And Mr. Elric seemed pretty tough, the kind of guy who could survive several encounters with death. (And from what stories he had heard about Mr. Elric's earlier exploits, at an age even younger than him, he thought that Mr. Elric was near invincible.)

"Yeah. Thanks, Dad. See ya later."

And Rob waved and left. Roy shrugged and went on doing dreaded paperwork, the kind that he puts off at the last minute.

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The military served coffee tasted good, but not as good as Starducks, Breda thought. There was a Starducks not too far away from here. Maybe he'd go there later. (AN: Yeah, I know. Starbucks and Starducks. Pretty corny, but I couldn't resist.)

"Hi, Uncle Breda. Can I ask you a question?" Rob asked.

Breda looked up at the boy, a miniature Roy with Riza's features. He'd known the kid since he was born, and whenever Rob wanted to know something, it was usually something that his parents should've told him. (Uncle Breda, how exactly do you French kiss? Uncle Breda, how come it's impossible to see how you're sleeping no matter how long you close your eyes and look in the mirror? Uncle Breda, I'm having some problems with learning how to shoot a gun. Can you give me some advice? Uncle Breda, why do Mom and Dad lock their door at night? Uncle Breda?)

Right now, Rob had cornered him in the cafeteria at lunch, at the table with a few of his other fellows. Not the best time, but why the hell not? Roy and Riza were frightening, he knew. He might as well help out the boy whenever he could.

"Sure, kid. Shoot." Breda nodded, taking another sip of the coffee, which was sweet but not overly sweet, and didn't use artificial sugars.

"If you think that you're girlfriend's mad at you for something, and you're having in trouble with the in-laws, what should you do?"

"Sarah's mad at you?" Breda asked. "For what? I thought you guys got along pretty well."

Breda almost smirked. Sarah Elric and Rob Mustang were a huge source of gossip. For one thing, they were certainly a cute couple, childhood friends (or maybe enemies) to boot. Secondly, both of their fathers were bigwigs in the military, or used to be in Edward's case. Thirdly, it was surprising that Ed and Roy would've even allowed it.

Privately, Breda thought that the kids went great together. Of course, he didn't tell Roy that.

"Well, she got mad because I was going to the Winter Ball with some other girl, probably one from a big, powerful, rich, and influential family. But it wasn't my fault because Dad said that I had to, and I couldn't say no because I was doing something kind of weird at the time, and I wanted him to leave," Rob explained, leaving out the part about reading the romance book. (Which hadn't turned out as bad as he expected. It'd been worse. Some sappy love rectangle that turned into an even sappier love pentagon which ended happily ever after. Whatever. Rob wondered how smart, sensible Sarah could've liked such a book.)

Breda stared at Rob, amazed by his sheer stupidity. And he knew right at that moment that was indeed Roy's son.

"You made one hell of a mistake. Never cheat on a girl who is officially your girlfriend," Breda explained in a tone that a wiser man explains to a young, eager boy wanting to learn. "I mean, it's bad for us guys, but for girls, it's forbidden. Never cheat on girls."

"Cheat on her? That's what it seems like to her?" Rob asked, bewildered and confused. "But she knows I only like her! I told her so!"

Breda almost rolled his eyes. Rob was still an inexperienced kid, he reminded himself. And Sarah was the first girl who "fell in love" with.

"You're still cheating on her, though. Ditch that other chick and ask Sarah out for the Winter Ball if you really want to make up with her," Breda shrugged.

Really, Uncle Breda was a lot more sensible than Dad, Rob thought. No military metaphors, no overdramatizing things, just straight, honest, things. And they made even more sense than what Dad was trying to tell him. From now on, he'd go to Uncle Breda instead of Dad.

"Thanks, Uncle. Bye," Roy said, and waved. He left.

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"Hey Uncle Fury?" Rob went up to another one of his adopted uncles.

"Yeah?"

"Never mind."

And then Rob left. Idiot for not remembering about Uncle Fury's legendary girl troubles, Rob thought to himself, leaving behind a confused Fury. Rob shook his head. He'd been acting kind of silly lately.

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While Rob was seeking advice in Central, Edward was suffering in Resembool.

"I…I…I can't believe…that…he would…_cheat on me_!" Sarah wailed, sobbing into a tissue. "I thought that he loved me! Waaaaaah!"

Really, sometimes Ed wondered if Sarah was his. No way would he cry over a broken heart. He'd just move on. It was a part of life.

But Sarah didn't seem to think so. After beating up and throwing Rob out the window, she started crying about him. A little strange, but whatever. Ed grinned as he remembered the satisfying way his boot had slammed into Rob's face, and how blood had spurted out of Rob's nose, and how Rob had even given out a little shriek. He was glad he'd come home earlier than he expected, and even more please to find out that Rob had been laying on the ground for hours, half-hoping that Sarah would come out and forgive him. Only after Ed had stepped on his face had Rob run away.

But Sarah remained a head case the rest of the evening and all day. Besides the crying, she had the momentary fits of anger in which she cursed Rob to the deepest, darkest pits of hell. And during the entire time, she insisted that someone be there for moral support.

Really, Sarah was an emotional tornado. She could happy and chipper one minute, and given the right trigger, she could become all crazy and sad or angry the next.

Eddie had stayed for almost three minutes, and then left mumbling about hormonal, older sisters. Dan had endured everything for almost half an hour before shuffling out of the room, telling Sarah how sorry he was about how things turned out. Winry had stayed for almost two hours, rubbing Sarah's back and telling her about how unfair life was before leaving, giving examples of worse cases. Ed, on the other hand, was forced to stay. Almost literally. He was tied down to a chair by Sarah, who insisted he do it. He had obliged at first. But this angsting session was taking forever! Couldn't she just be over with it? I mean, come on, Robert Mustang wasn't that great. Right?

He wondered why Sarah had insisted he be there. And why she insisted that he be literally tied down to a chair. She knew that he wasn't as eloquent with words as Winry or Dan was, or as sensitive as them. He thought that maybe Sarah knew about his plan and kept him there as some form of punishment. No, torture. Well, if that was what Sarah had planned, mission accomplished. This was the worst moment in his life.

"Thought he really meant it!" Sarah continued to cry. "Thought that he really loved me! Lies! All lies!"

And she started to get into another fit of anger, but it passed in about six minutes, and she was going on about how much she was sad and blue, boo-hoo, what can we do?

The door opened. Both Sarah and Ed looked up to see who it was. Ed smiled in relief, but Sarah still remained wet-eyed and depressed.

It was Al. Of course it was him! Who else could it be?

"Hey, Sarah. Hey, Ed. I heard from Dan that you guys were having trouble," Al said. "So I came over to help."

"Al! Thank God! Untie me!" Ed yelled, kicking his feet, and struggling with the ropes.

Al stared at Ed. "Brother? Um, why are you tied up?"

"Long story. Just untie me!"

Al didn't question Ed. He knew him better than to probe more than necessary. Al strode over to his brother and quickly undid all the knots. All the time, he kept one eye on his explosive niece, sniffling on the bed and clutching onto a huge stuffed animal that resembled some kind of a rabbit.

When Ed was properly untied, Al sat down and turned to Sarah. "Okay. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's terrible, Uncle Alphonse," Sarah said, lowering her head down. "Rob. I thought that he loved me. He even told me so! But I found out that he was going out with someone else to the Winter Ball! Someone else! Can you believe it?"

"Oh. You're having those kind of problems," Al grimaced and then continued on in a sympathetic voice. "Going through your first heartbreak is always hurtful, especially when you're a teenager, especially when you were really into a committed relationship with the person."

Sarah buried her face in the her pillow. A muffled sob.

"You probably feel angry and betrayed, but you feel sad and depressed at the same time. You feel mad at him, but at the same time you feel like someone's stabbed your heart. You wonder what you did wrong, even though you didn't do anything wrong," Al nodded his head.

Another muffled sob.

"It's all right. A lot of people go through it. It's almost a natural part of life." Al's voice turned from a little sad and very sympathetic to more mature and explanatory.

And yet another muffled sob.

"Did you talk to Rob about it?"

No muffled sob this time. Instead, Sarah looked up from her pillow, her eyes still red and wet, and said reluctantly, "No. Not really."

"Well, do it. Get his side of the story first. Sometimes, things don't turn out to be the way you think they are. Maybe he accidentally got into a date with this girl. Maybe she's just a friend he's being nice to. Maybe Roy is forcing him to."

When Al had said that last part, he noticed that Ed gave a little wince. Al knew immediately that Ed was hiding something from him, and he had every intention of forcing it out of Brother later, when Sarah wasn't around. Knowing Brother, he was up to no good. Really, Brother could be so irrational about some things sometimes.

"All right," Sarah sighed. "I guess I can talk to him."

And then she bounced out of the bed for the first time since yesterday, and then went downstairs for dinner as if she hadn't had a huge sobbing episode.

Ed wondered why Al had this ability and not him.

"So, Brother, what are you up to now?" Al asked, suddenly turning on Ed.

Ed tried to put up an innocent and slightly confused and offended look, but it made him look more like he was somewhere in between in depressed and suicidal. "What are you talking about, Al?"

"Come on, Brother. I know you. I'm asking you a question. What are you up to?"

Ed still had the same depressed/suicidal expression of his face.

"I know that it involves Roy, Rob, and Sarah somehow."

Ed relented. "All right, fine. I'll tell you, but you have to promise, no wait…you have to swear not to tell anyone, especially not Sarah and Winry."

"I make no promises," Al replied.

"Fine! Then I won't tell you!"

"Fine! Then I swear not to tell!" Al was exasperated. Brother was acting so childishly!

"Okay. Fine," Ed leaned over to Al and told him. "You see, Roy and I are a little annoyed that Sarah and Rob are seeing each other, right? Well, we decided to do something about it."

"Oh no, Brother!" Al groaned. "You're an interfering busybody! Why can't you just accept the fact that Rob and Sarah like each other and just move on?"

"Because I can't! You should care, too! Sarah is your niece! How do you feel about her having a relationship with Rob, doing inappropriate things with him!"

There was a short silence, then Al began laughing.

"_That's_ the reason! Ha ha ha ha ha! Brother, you're worried about _Sarah_ doing _inappropriate things_ with Rob? Oh, Brother, that's rich! I never expected you to be one of _those_ dads!"

"Shut up, Al!" Ed snapped, blushing bright red. "And you have to admit, it's not just possible, it's probable! Those two are just teenagers, and they're both getting into their first really committed relationship! Who knows what they might do at the heat of the moment? When we were their age, were we much different? Let me tell you, no we were not! Winry got pregnant with Sarah when she was just seventeen, Al. Seventeen! And Sarah is sixteen, and Rob is eighteen! Let me tell you, _I don't want to be a grandfather at age thirty-three!_"

"You are paranoid, Brother," Al said, rolling his eyes.

And that was the end of that.

Or so it seemed.

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"So, what are you doing so far from home?" the man asked the girl.

The girl, Suhyeon, smiled. "Ah, I've come to visit my auntie and my cousin."

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**Just a little AN:**

**I named Suhyeon after one of my sisters. I was looking for Asian sounding names, and I thought that I might as well just pick a family member. Ha, she doesn't even know.**


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